hazel

2006-04-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

i'm leaving my blogger to rot (:
byebye!

2006-04-02T00:47:00.000-08:00

if you told me to cry for you, i could.

if you told me to die for you, i would.

more than words that i wanna express, i just want to thank God for everything and really thank Him who let me find the strength in tears, the courage in times when we all felt discouraged, the power in the unconditional love He has for us, thank God. Let's not stop here, we're gonna fight for Him and glorify His name okay! (:

congrats sam! i believe you guys would rock the finals of the hollaback crew!

i've decided today and it ain't gonna to change anymore, i've moved on.

2006-04-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY QIYANG! (:

today is an exciting day! yay! praise the Lord! (:
omg, pleaseeeeee let me get through jieying phone, i'm so gonna faint now.
fine, i'm going for trng now. bye!(:

2006-03-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

I'm staring out at the sky I see you baby
Praying that he will walk in my life
Where is the man of my dreams right here
I'll wait forever, how silly it seems
How does he laugh? How does he cry? What's the color of his eyes?
Does he even realize I'm here?

where are you by natalie is currently my earworm(: had trng today, it was good and i think coach was being really hilarious(: hockey really cheered me up hella lotsa okay! i was feeling really bad in the morning, i have no idea why too. there's math test tmr, hope i don't fail it though. my partner was being such a sweet to coach me in math(: i'm such a math idiot and yknw numbers always seem to be so unfamiliar to me. anw, there's crezawards tmr and i can't wait! hahaha, yknw i was being damn lame today, tht's why i need a wheelchair. hahahaha, do you get it? you're slow, i think you need a jet plane. okay, tht's really dumb.

who's gonna take me so high?

2006-03-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

though tears may fall, You hold me close and love me through it all.
sorry seems to be the hardest thing to say.

Saying I love you
Is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to
Show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do
To make it real then
You wouldn't have to say
That you love me'
Cause I'd already know
What would you do
If my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if
I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you
And make you understand
All you have to do
Is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands
And touch me hold me close
Don't ever let me go
More than words is
All I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me
'Cause I already know

2006-03-27T20:33:00.000-08:00

i crashed and burned at your feet.
yeah, thanks for your honesty.
holding on to tht " i'm really so tired of you" must be real hard.
but you finally said tht to me today,
i must be an idiot to give so much,
i even had your birthday present ready.
but, it doesn't matter anymore.
pleaseee go away, treat it as i'm a mistake.

Everyone's a lost romantic,
Since our love became a kissing show
Everyone's a cassanova,
Come and pass me the mistletoe

2006-03-26T20:37:00.000-08:00

we got 13 people in cg now! I'm so happy man, praise the Lord! 3 converts and 1 christian who joined! ysee God is great and He's working in our cg and church! :D keep going and more great things would come by! (: i'm really encouraged by what hannah posted on her blog(: we're warriors for the Lord, warriors with ultimate faith and courage! (:

jieying, i'm really glad you joined our church and cg! I thank God for you and I hope you'll continue to grow strong in Him eh? I'm really happy for you and come for cg on tuesday okay! (:

partner, no problem! yknw i'm going fight with you okay! i believe you'll find your faith in God and I'll help you along the way! I won't give up on you, so don't ever give up on yourself okay! God never give up on you too, yknw you matter to Him, and you matter to me too. we'll jiayou tgt okay! (:

yknw God really blessed me with alot things. like my parents, i really want to thank God for them. i knw there's times when i hurt you guys, but i love you mummy and daddy. Not everything in life might be perfect and smooth-going, but i'm blessed enough cause I knw I have God's love.

here's something really cute, all work no God makes Jack with a lost soul.

2006-03-25T19:45:00.000-08:00

baby we're going to be there tgt, thick and thin.
pinkies, i love you.
nat, sarah, shyan, gretchen, huijun, chermaine,
we'll fighting strong together okay.

CDIV HOCKEY, REMEMBER WHAT WE WANT AND WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT FOR IT.

2006-03-24T21:54:00.000-08:00

crescent hockey, you're always our number one and only champs(:
HOCEKY, OUR PASSION AND GAME(:

2006-03-23T09:17:00.000-08:00

(edit/)
i feel tired suddenly, so many upcoming tests and events. & everything seems to be stacking up. esp for you, i'm giving up slowly. i'm just tired for awhile, but God wld catch me once again.

the rejection is so not putting me down. yknw no matter what, i won't give up on you. i'm glad you responded and really want to come and knw God though you're afraid of all the possible restrictions and consquences. But, cmon we'll work hard tgt okay! though the rejection you gave today really got me disappointed, but it dawned upon me tht the Lord gave me the strength of power and of love, not of fear to outreach. I'll never give up on you cause you matter so much to God(:

sports day tmr! i loveeee the keller cheer, the one which got the tune of M1 handphone thang!
it's like
I'M RUNNING FOR KELLER
YEAHHHHH
I'M WINNING FOR KELLER
YEAHHHHH
IT GOTTA BE GOOD!

i hope my 200m and relay 4 x 100m would turn out fine tmr man! my legs are so wobbly now. ( where's the nearest bridge? i wanna jump!) hahaha, nah! i'm gonna run my best man! (:

tmr's bdiv's big day. no matter what, CRESCENT HOCKEY NUMBER ONE!
i loveeee hockey so muchhhh, like it's my sugarbaby.

Because of who you are, faith filled my soul.

2006-03-22T09:57:00.000-08:00

You gave me strength to find joy in pain today.

I had shepherding today! :D I really enjoyed it alot, & fenghui, thanks for cheering me up. God really knws how to back me up at the perfect timing(: nth could be coincidental, it's God who has been working in our lives. I had a great lesson today, the power of His words pushed me even harder to work towards our common mission. It seems like after shepherding, Lord took my wednesday blues away and opened my spiritual eyes to see again(: yknw, our God is so aweeesomeeeeee! :DDD

heh, yknw partner? i hope you would think abt what i said during recess today! I'm glad you responded & I'm really looking forward to the day when everyone witnesses your life transformation! rawrrrrrr, so exciting okay! but, at the same time, continue to have faith in yourself! :DDD

i believe we can make it okay! keeep going people! :D

sports day is on friday! It'll be definitely enjoyable if im not running, but i am. RAWRRRRRRRR, i'm think i'm morphing into some kind of whine-alot person. whatever! okay okay! HIGHLIGHT! THERE'LL BE CRESCENT HOCKEY VS ST NICKS HOCKEY MATCH AT DELTA ON FRIDAY TOO! tht's the heart-throbbing one! (: BE THERE OKAY! :D

We far apart from each other's souls, i can see. The awkardness i feel, i wonder do you? How we used to be, will always be my memories. All i wish to see is you happy, goodbye my friend.

2006-03-21T19:49:00.000-08:00

15! 216! we can do it people! & crescent hockey no.1!

yayyyy.

yknw how amazing God can be, open your spiritual eyes.

& bones, age shows tht she's loving him still.

2006-03-19T15:37:00.000-08:00

The love that i gave away returns to my heart and fills it.

okay! this is a joke man, my mum was walking into this public toilet, then she came out and wanted to get into the handicap one, so i asked her why, she said there's a NO ENTRY sign outside the ladies. i went to take a look, then i was wondering why everybody was walking into some place beside the NOENTRY sign door, & guess what! that's the ladies! hahaha, stupid. the NOENTRY sign door is another place lahhh mummy. hahaha.

GOODDDDD NEWS, james will be coming to church! yay, i'm so encouraged now. I'm going to persuade my partner until she agrees!(: You know I really want to praise the Lord for He really made every single minute of my life worthwhile(:

you know i'm friggin happy now, because I got a god-sis! & she's SAMANTHA KWANNNNNN, HYPER&NUTS GIRL GIRL! hahaha, you girl next door(: yknw, i just want to say thanks for making me really happy, and I dont feel hurt at all because i like it when you're happy and moreover, talkking to you makes me want to have this feeling of DANCING ALL NIGHT. hahaha, i hope tht we wld just forget abt what we talked abt last night cause i dont want this to cause a barrier in between us! :DDD I mean i have to move on & i believe tht yknw i'm going to make it through cause there's my HYPER&NUTS GIRL GIRL TO CHEER ME ON & OUR SAVIOUR JESUS! :DDDD Stay strong girl, i knw you can do it(:

heh, and my pinkies. YKNW I MISSSSSS YOU GUYS, i've got an sudden urge to get everybody to macha's house and we can pinky the whole day man! I just want all you guys to stay strong okay! WE'LL FIGHT TGT REMEMBER? :DDDDDD

ym, iknw you're going to be okay(: you've got to fight on alright? cheer up, believe in Him and things would start to look on ehhh(:

school's starting tmr, not very excited abt it though. hahaha, i dont knw why i have this feeling tht i'm not ready for sch :/ rawrrrr, sch's going to be goodddddd, i hope so(:

God's love is sufficient for my soul, i prayed for strength in them.

2006-03-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

some pictures taken at east coast park outing wit my family today! :D

EVERDAY IT'S YOU I LIVE FOR!

FINE: $000 ( HAHAHAHA)

2006-03-14T12:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR JOANNE KINGKONGGGGGG!

hahah, it's great knowing you and you've been a great friend(: I'm really happy to see how you've grown and stand firm in God. I pray that God would continue to bless you with greater things in your life and let's work hard towards our goal okay! :D LOVE YOU KINGKONG, THE LAMEST ONEEEEEEE(:

Had caregroup after lit lecture today. It was so fun & I'm really inspired now to outreach. The tought of bringing people to the kingdom of light really excites me alot(: It's beyond description okay! hahaha, there's bound to be rejections and hurt while outreaching. But, because God is with us and we'll shall be brave and give our best. It's always not about our skin, it's about others' souls. The happiness you will feel when a lost soul is brought into the kingdom of light is really great(:

hey superman! CHEER UP, i know you're going through a period of time in your life which you might breakdown a few times. But, be strong and stand firm okay! It's not about how many times you breakdown or let go, it's about how are you going to stand up again. you know God will always be with you and He will have better things stored in your life even though He allowed these to happen. HAVE FAITH OKAY!(: i believe you can do it and everyone is here for you. God would always be there with His arms wide open, just to ctach us when we're falling, so don't lose faith. I LOVE YOU SUPERMAN! (:

And, gretchen hornyyyyyy! GOOD LUCK for your operation tmr(: God will bless you sweets, be strong okay! LOVE YOU LOTSA PINKY:D

OMG OMG OMG, I CAN'T WAIT FOR TMR! :D

2006-03-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

so much to say, so much to feel.
but it seems pointless now.
no matter what you think,
all i can say is i've tried my best
till it pains me.

hey, thanks for calling me this morning when i really needed it. I tried calling you last night, but you didn't picked up at all. I felt so disppointed cause you said you would be there for me no matter what. But, i hear a different calling instead. It's okay, i know you were tired & slept early. At least God was there for me, He is always there for me. & all of you sweets, thanks(: esp huiwei, thanks so much for encouraging me & you know we're gonna fight together right? :D

we DANCE DANCE DANCE at fy's house today. So fun okay! :D I think our dance is so cool mannnnn! hahaha, fy cooked lunch for us. It was quite nice tough(: I had lotsa of fun at fy's house today! :D We had training in the morning which wasn't really good, don't wish to mention about it though. I can't wait for cg tmr!! :D Can't really explain the excitement mannn! hahahah, anw I find alot of meaning in this song.

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Til the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll needIn my life
You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible

Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You

When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free

you don't need to know how i feel, the Lord is the only one who needs to know me.

2006-03-13T00:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night, I was struggling with my problems. This morning, I realising I'm wrong. Now, I'm smiling. All these happened because I was stupid ( that was deniseong) edit/because God is with me and he's watching over me and i know i've caused him pain by breaking down. My parents are right about me, maybe I didn't tried enough. I just want to think about how to clear the mess, but not turning back and pick up the broken pieces. I was close to killing myself, but it dawned upon me that if i were to die, I would be a sinner. We're here on earth to serve God, to outreach and bring more people to the kingdom of light(: I'm really sorry for thinking that way, & sorry mum&dad, i was having some problems last night and im just so sorry. & I know i got to be strong and stand firm cause the Lord, our saviour, is watching over me. If I just breakdown and not stand up again who is going to believe me when they are at their lowest point of their lives and i'm asking them to be strong. They wouldn't be encouraged nor inspired, so I believe that everything God puts me through has its own reason & it will be something great to come(:

i love God(: i love all of you guys(: & my pinkies(: and qiyang, my beloved kor(: thanks for everything, giving me the strength to stand up again.

SMILE BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT HE WILL BE THERE.

2006-03-11T20:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just sit in front of your tablet and stone away, wondering what to blog abt, just like what am I now.

Chermaine, everything you said was right, i know what to do, that's why my heart ached for no reason cause i'm trying not to think about those reasons.

Left service earlier today, my heart felt heavy. But during worship and praise, I felt like God took all the pain away and I felt much better. Thank you Lord(:

OH OH I THINK SAMANTHA KWAN IS SUPER CUTEEEEEE, hahahaha. thanks for the icepack(: we're crooook partners(:

went for st nicks funfair today, hahaha not bad(:

im finding joy in others' smiles.

2006-03-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

i'm giving in but im not giving up;

i was badmooding just now, you just can't imagine how screwed you can get suddenly. But the thought of the Lord with open arms waiting for you to fall into them really calmed me down. & it was the first time ever that i cried on the train alone, dumbshat. I felt better though it was reallt stupid. Thanks Sam, qiyang and shyan for cheering me up, really needed that(:

Hockey was okay, injured my finger though.

it really bothers me sometimes why im giving in when i'm not at fault. I really treasure this friendship, but you dont seem to care at all. I did all i can to save this friendship, but you just seem to be expecting more when you can't be bothered at all. There's nothing more I can do, but thanks for being a great friend sometimes(:

heh, cheer up people. I feel sad to see all of you like this, cmon' stay strong(: i love you guys & i always believe all of you are strong okay? I'll be praying for you guys:D

i was on the wandering streets when You picked me up and gave me strength.

2006-03-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

If you feed on faith, your fears will starve to death.

Recently, I feel so helpless. People around me living in pain and sadness, I can only stand aside and pray for them. Moreover, I really care for them. It's either they are hurting themselves, living in vain or doing foolish things which make me really disappointed and upset. Can you imagine when your close friends are all leading life which gets them nowhere, & as a friend, you can't do anything to help, the helplessness is terrible. I have come to realise seeing joy in other's smile, but i don't see them happy anymore. If you look at this world closely, you'll realise that there's so many unexpected things which you'll may never notice if you don't bother to. & that is when I realised that God is the only way out. He calmed my fears and lifted my helplessness. I'm grateful, I know that I shouldn't dwell in it cause in God, I'll find all the answers(: I must stay strong cause my friends need me. I really feel so much better, falling back into God's arms(:

I watched big momma's house 2 with fenghui today!! It was a pretty nice comedy(: Thanks shepherd for this wonderful first shepherding, I really enjoyed myself alot and felt so much better after opening up to you!(: We'll fight together remember? hahah(:

I had my dance test today, got an A(: but i can say dance isn't my thing.

Praise the Lord cause His mercy endures forever!

2006-03-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

my dad sent this to me, thought it was really inspiring(:

In the search for me, I discovered truth.
In the search for truth, I discovered love.
In the search for love, I discovered God.
And in God, I have found everything.

& that's when I'm found myself living.

2006-03-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

Saturday night was chaotic, but whatever it is, we're going to fight together sweets.

& no matter what happens, I'll be praying for all of you guys. I pray that you guys would be strong regardless of what happened and we'll always be here for you guys cause we love you and we care alot. No matter how hard it is, hang in there cause for believers, God is here for you, turn to Him. But for the non-believers, we'll always be here for you, always(:

Service was really good yesterday(: I was happy and emotionally moved. I have no idea why, but I was spiritually lifted up. I'm going to outreach and it's only then the lost souls would be saved, & God is going to help us with that(: Amen(:

The hockey dinner was great, coach was being retarded okay. hahaha, the food gave my tummy an extra 1cm. hahaha, whatever.

Lord, I'm reaching out to see the souls of love.

2006-03-01T19:19:00.000-08:00

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

today was an efficient day, went to forum with denise to study and we really did study okay!(: hahahaha. Denise was so funnaye okay, she kept doing her math wrongly, and i did them correctly. She even hit me on the head lah, just because she kept getting them wrong, grrrr. Studying with her is fun though, eh pangsai be honoured(: hahah, then we went to zara to window- shop around & we went to fareast after that too. I like that piece of zara shirt alot, but i don't know whether i should buy it or not. I need to think over, maybe i should ask my parents for their opinion(: okay, great. I'm only left with journal writing and then I shall do some planning for other stuff and outings(: I asked my partner to come to church on sat, i really hope she would be able to make it though(: she's like the nicest partner man, hahaha(: I love casting crowns!(: thanks denise for introducing their songs to me, they're really nice(: Yay, there's trng tmr! :DDDD

2006-02-27T21:18:00.000-08:00

WE'LL FIGHT LIKE WARRIORS FOR GOD.

sports heat today was okay though, I came in 4th. & math CT wasn't as bad as I thought, but it was still bad lahh. hahaha, but i'm so glad that commontests are finally over!(:

you know something, I really want to thank God for giving me so much strength and movtivation when I'm all down into the dumps. No matter in whatever situation, He's always there and will never leave me(: Like math, I'm pretty bad at it, but everytime I wanna give up trying to work harder when the results disappoint me, God lifted me up again. Because of Him, I would fight and I would fight like a warrior(: God has never give up on us, so we should never ever give up on ourselves too(: FIGHT PEOPLE FIGHT! HAHAHA.

went for hockey trng after sports heat. I played badly, gonna train real hard the next time man(: Then we were being real hyper after trng! JANE IS NUTS, i'm telling you that cause in any case if she ever get into a hyper mood, it's best you stand far from her. hahaha, NAT is another nutcase please. I mean we were all NUTS. i think it got to do with the celebration of the end of the CTs(: WOOOOHOOOO.

I'm not sure whether I can go for caregroup tmr cause I have some cme proj thang, gaythang:(
I'll try to go, hope I can make it(:

tag replies
nicole : thanks sweet, thank God(:
wushuang : hello(:
GENELLE : hahaha yeah, you lah! xP
sunshine : yeah baby! hahaha, LOSERS(: they deserve it(:

2006-02-26T21:15:00.000-08:00

SMILE BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD NEVER LEAVE ME;

Went for service ystd, it was great(: My shepherd was so nice to me, thanks for that hot milo!(:

Math is sickeningly interesting. So irony eh, but it happen to be this way. If I fail my math commontest, mrslow would be calling my parents up. & that's not the main thing, the thing is I would be very disappointed cause I've studied like nuts for this test. It dawned upon me that it doesn't really matter as long as God knows and I know that I've done my best though(:

I'm running 200m tmr, but my muscles are having some problems now. Stupid knee injury. No matter what, I'm gonna try my best tmr(: There's hockey trng tmr, yay. Now that's gay(: I need the ultimate strength which I know God never fails to give me now, I love my saviour(:

you know something, I'm LIVING(:

2006-02-25T23:28:00.000-08:00

As long as stars shine down from heaven
And the rivers run into the sea
Till the end of time forever
You're the only love I'll need

In my life
You're all that matters
In my eyes the only truth I see
When my hopes and dreams have shattered
You're the one that's there for me

When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You
Imagine me without You
I'd be lost and so confused
I wouldn't last a day, I'd be afraid
Without You there to see me through
Imagine me without You
Lord, You know it's just impossible

Because of You, it's all brand new
My life is now worthwhile
I can't imagine me without You
When You caught me I was falling
You're love lifted me back on my feet
It was like You heard me calling
And You rush to set me free

When I found You
I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You

When I found You I was blessed
And I will never leave You, I need You oh
I can't imagine me without You

2006-02-24T21:26:00.000-08:00

DROP A HEART, BREAK A NAME.

I'm in a good mood today(: That's so gay, hahaha. Chermaine's favourite word(: Had sports heats today, I ran in parluuf. It was quite okay(: Everybody did very well today(: I'm running 200m on monday's heats, so excited about it man. Went to queensway after the heats, the taxi driver is damn irritating, shan't elaborate. We went macs to eat, then went to shop for denise's and shyan's bags and went home. fangying and I were up to some dirts in schoool(: heh, really scandalous. I'm so gay today, i actually paid attention during science lesson and did practical seriously for the very first time(:

anyway, thanks fenghui!(: I love that little note you gave me, really sweet(: I can go to church every saturday already! OMGGGGGGG, I'M SUPER GAY NOW. I want to thank God for that and you see, this is how amazing God can be(: MUMMY AND DADDY, I LOVE YOU TOO!(: thank you for being such understanding parents and i'll never dread to come home anymore, i love my family so very much(: Thinking back on who i used to be makes me really very disappointed, but now my life had completely changed ever since God is part of it(: Amen! :DDDDDD

HAZEL IS GAYYYYYY, WOOHOOO. plus there's hockey trng tmr((:

2006-02-23T21:44:00.000-08:00

RAWRRRRRR, I NEED TO SCREAM.
i don't know why math seems so difficult.
i don't why i tried so hard and you don't see it.
i don't know why can't i go to church.
i don't know why i'm badmooding.
i don't know why i'm feeling so frustrated now.

a part of me feels like giving up, another part of me is calling me to be strong cause God is here for me. I need to close my eyes and have a quiet time. The world is full of temptations and chaotic, it's only when I closed my eyes and think about God, it somehow calm me down. I think i need a break from all these pressure and disappointments. Lord, i'm falling into your hands.

2006-02-23T20:23:00.000-08:00

SUPERHEROS ARE FLYING(:

fenghui is my shepherd!(: haha, i made something for her(: anyway, school was quite okay today! home econs was hilarious lah, the queencakes were damn nice. Cheryl's ones look like mushrooms, it's cute though(: went to watch our seniors' match after pbl, they won anyway(: Anyway, thanks for those hugs. I thought I really needed them(: Did i tell you i hate PBL? I HATE PBL, it's a waste of time. I'm so stressed up now, there's 2 maths papers, the whole of tenyrs series and chinese to do. Rawrrrr:(

This isn't making me feel any better, my parents don't allow to go to church on saturday:(

i'm not going to cry over your accusations, you're so not worth it dude.

2006-02-22T20:43:00.000-08:00

I WAITED BUT YOU DIDN'T TURN UP AT ALL, INSTEAD YOU BROKE MY HEART.

school is anti-hazel. pffft. I'm so tired nowadays. Tests are like a routine of my everyday life, i'm feeling under pressure now man. I don't know. I've tried my best and studied like shat, yet I don't do as well:/ Oh wells, I don't think I'm going to give up just like that. I'm gonna try harder than this(:

anyway, I'm feeling better today sweethearts(: God's words can really keep me going on, praise the Lord! :DDDDDD Whenever I get those nights which makes me wanna just breakdown, God would pick me up again(: It's just so amazing(: I just want to say that everytime you meet your mr lowest-time-of-life, turn to our awesome God cause He is the only one who understands us in and out and you'll be surprised how things work so amazingly with Him in your life(:

Last night, I came to a conclusion of my screwed thoughts. I guess if things are meant to be that way, I'll go along with it. I'm so done with being so lost without you and let me tell you what, I can happily get out of your life cause I waited for you long enough. But, you never did sort out your feelings and have you ever ask me why I ignored you? No, you didn't cause you were too preoccupied with your self-assumptions. I have my own reasons but I don't think you need to know now. I'm better off alone dude.

tag replies:
atiq: hello! is that good or bad? hahaha.
ilc: arsenal's not bad though(:
sunshine: Yeah, sad man. we're so not fated to know each other, hahaha.
denise: hey wo de guai girlgirl!(: thanks, I love you too(:
clara: thanks alot, superman! i love you hella lotsa(:
gretchen: beep beep, you so beep. i beep you(:
dk: hahaha, hey!(:
fangying: show you a wrinkiled facexP hahaha, thanks babe(:
chermaine: smiley twin! thanks, i'll fighter like a warrior man(:
annette: hey nett!(: how's school? let's hang out someday, have fun too(: i love you!(:

2006-02-21T20:22:00.000-08:00

& all the words you said hurt me deeply, thanks.

2006-02-21T16:22:00.000-08:00

It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces of me.

I'm currently into ashlee simpson(: I used to dislike her though, but I'm so stuck on her songs now. sheeeshh. Anyway, had caregroup after school today(: We went to tiong's bk to study. I was studying math :DDDD I love math hella lotsa, but I'm not really good at it for nuts. There's math test tmr, hope i would do well for it though(: I was reading the bible promise book which denise lent it to me on the train, it's really inspiring(: God's words really cheered me up hella lotsa(: Amen(: Anyway, school was really funnaye today, esp during music. We are having this dance course which we're going to learn jazz. I think it's damn cool :DDDDDD I'm so looking forward to tuesdays(:

lecturer! BU YAO SHENG QI(: cheer up okay? hugs.

Goodbye my lover.
This song brought me to tears.

2006-02-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

When I opened my eyes, your faith was all I see;
Science ct wasn't as bad as I thought:D We should start diggin' soon. Cause we're left with one commontest :DDDDDDDDD

Went to watch Bdiv' hockey match at ccab today(: Crescent played against st nicks, 0-0. Crescent did really well(: CRESCENT HOCKEY NO.1! :DDDDD There's nothing much which happened today, school just won't be as interesting without my friends though(:

Oh wells. I'm in one of those i-feel-like-fainting moods now. But, I felt much better after praying to the Lord(: I think there's a stack of work waiting for me, grrrrr. Tell me, how far do I need to go to at least achieve my goal of being a nerd. I need to put myself into studying mood now or I'll be going into one of those unpleasant moodswings again :(

CMON GO GO GO! That's what my beloved lecturer always says to motivate me, pretty retarded though(:

I wanna fight like a warrior, brave and firm(:

2006-02-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

YAY, I FINISHED STUDYING SCIENCE :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Can you see how many smileys are there? Hahahah, I feel like just falling back now. I've been so tensed up since this morning. I realised I don't listen in science lessons, that's also why I was having a hard time studying. Fine, lesson learnt(: But, I'm still left with math. It's a good thing I love maths(: WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO, that's really random. I feel less heavy now(: If my brain doesn't explode before twelve tonight, you must really clap for me eh. hahaha.

I'm kind of moodswinging just now which I don't like it. You know how much I dislike moodswings, yet I'm clinging onto it. Reading certain people entries makes me reflect on myself. I shouldn't have done this, I should be doing this and that. I guess i've been indirectly hurting that someone though I didn't mean it. I should be the one who should let go, it seems like I'm hanging onto something/someone which I've lost long ago and had already given it to somebody else. Yeah, I'll get tired after hanging on to something/someone I really love. Why not give them all away? I used to think I can handle my emotions really well, but I guess not. That sentence can't even fit into my mouth. Letting go isn't easy, giving up isn't any better too. But you know what, as long as I know I'm working right in God's plan, I'll stay strong and trust me, I'll get over it someday(:

I cldn't make you see that my love for you was blind, so why not let her make you see that her love for you is also blind?

2006-02-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

One way, JESUS!
I'm studying very hard now, I even studied on the train, even when I'm walking and eating too. Actually, bio is quite interesting somehow, for nuts.

yesterday was really fun(: Had hockey trng in the morning which I thought it was pretty okay(: Coach was being really gay, trying strain his voice like a girl. After trng, we went to jp to eat, it was so hilarious. I was like showing them some retarded action which was meant to be HUG and they thought it was BREASTSCRUB. You sick people, hahaha. It looks quite like one though, hahaha. We were talking horny in macs while our tired natasha was sleeping:/ Then, we went to TOYRUS. Is it spelt this way? Okay whatever, it's some place which sells toys. It's so funnaye, we were playing with the frogs and we all started singing crazy frog's song. It's actually alot of fun to be in a kiddy place which we haven't been to for ages(: Sarah and I were being really sick with the bananas softtoys, shall not really elaborate on that xP Hahahaha. Then, I went to meet clara and joanne and we went for service tgt(: Service was great and I thought the topic was really encouraging and I learnt alot(: Then, we went for dinner after service at starhub and studied. Did you realise STUDY appears almost everywhere? grrrrr, but luckily we had lots of fun at the central C meeting(: It's was so hilarious okay, I LOVE CENTRAL C(: Then, I went home:DDD

Anyway, my parents are more understanding now which is a really happy thing(: Now, I hope that they will allow me to go for service every sat(:

There's science commontest tmr, I hope I will do well though(:

tag replies
nicole: LIVERPOOL WON, MAN UTD LOST :(
teran: america next top model rocks(:
gretchen: HELLO HORNY TWIN! I love that mini skirt joke, really horny(:
sunshine: hello sunshine! you know man utd lost lost lost! cries :( hahaha.

2006-02-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

Today is the last,
I've let go of all tears.
I've sent you to someplace far away;
and all I want to say is
you'll always be in my heart, grandpa.

I'm having headache, panadols are useless.
I've been studying alot, welcome hazel the nerd people.
I hate science, guess what went into my head,
SCIENCE IS STUPID.
it doesn't arouse my interest and it's like a dead subject.
I love math, math is interesting unlike science(:
you know what frustrates me most,
someone asking me to do something which if i say i would just to please him/her, but I won't do it in the end.
I don't understand why are these involve in our conversation, it makes me think that you dont mean what you said.
But now again, i ask myself, who I am to be involve in these with you.
I've been taking this matter too hard that I barely can control myself when you're around.
I seem to lost myself when you're around me, why can't things be simpler?
Okay, enough of this, back to the happieer note!
There's hockey trng tmr!(:

Lord, you amaze me with your sacrificial love(:

2006-02-15T15:51:00.000-08:00

I love Blind by Lifehouse a lot, lyrics wise, it's really nice(:

a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know

a part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know

a part of me died when I let you go
after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know

a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go

Oh well, I'm rotting away in front of my tablet now. Bio really stinks a lot, have you ever wonder why it’s so difficult to pay attention during bio? Oh well, I need to catch my breath man. Mr Teo explains in a way which I don't understand, maybe I'm the only one who doesn’t understand:( Bio is boring shit and I’m going to doze off sooner or later in his lessons if he continues in his weird language of science. Whatever he says is just, " blah blah blah", nothing really went in. Chinese test was kind of tough though, rawrrrrrrr, I'm frustrated.

I was late for school today:( And there goes my second demerit for latecoming. Oh twin, it's okay that you boarded the train this morning when I thought I should alight to wait for you. You can't be late, you promising prefect, hahaha. So yeah, it's okay and hugs(: I cabbed down to school though, wasted $3.60 on the cab which damn crap. I thought I was going to be extremely late, but who knows God amazed me with a cab after waiting for 15mins. Thank God(:

No school for me tmr. So I can't be there to celebrate my beloved Shyan’s birthday:( But, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHYAN(: I'll be there for you, like always. MY HUGS ARE THE BEST POLICY, remember? Don't think too much okay, it's your birthday! HUGS TIGHT, I love you(: Hope you enjoy the birthday surprise we planned for you(:

Celeste, my braces maker(: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TOO(: I know you're sick as my macha passed the stupid virussssss to you. Oh well, takecare and remember, God will walk with you through your whole life, bless you!(: HUGS.

I'm really tired now, I need my beauty sleep.

2006-02-15T15:42:00.000-08:00

I’m currently stuck on welcome by Bonjovi, don’t ask me why. I used to have a fetish for breakup songs, it’s really depressing and weird. I would be listen to upsetting songs over and over again, sadistic shat. I was listening to perfectten last night, it’s kinda of depressing. Some girls called and said that they were dumped on Valentine’s Day, one even had her boyfriend bringing his new girl to break up with her. That’s really upsetting, have you ever put yourself in others shoes and thought it might happen to you someday? Getting dumped on valentine’s is actually not the worst part, what’s friggin ridiculous is that he even brought his new girl. Valentine’s supposed to be happy you see(:

I’m mugging now, Chinese is really getting on my nerves. I pray that God would give me the strength to mug hard this year man. I failed my recent math test, do you call that pathetic? Grrrrrr. Total Defence Day is one boring event that I wished it never existed and the food rationing exercise almost killed my stomach. My poor tummy was growling and it sounded desperate for food :(

Note to my grandpa:
Though you are in somewhere far away, but I will be praying for you to be bless wherever you are now. You’ll always be here in my heart. I remembered there’s once in primary school, you came to school to fetched me home and that was also the first and only time you came to fetch me. I was really happy as you came(: I used to dislike you cause I couldn’t stand the way you acted. But grandpa, I love you always and thank you for fetching me though it’s not really something very special, but you made me really happy that day(: Bless you.

Sarah my macha, you must get well soon okay? I want to train with you on Saturday and we can have more pinkies(: I know you’re feeling really sick but rest well okay? I love your hoarse voice though, it’s sexy(: HUGS, your macho.

Zoey my girlfriend! Cheer up!(: Life’s like this, you’ve got to move on even if something terrible happened in your life. Remember God always have everything arranged in your life, maybe it’s in God’s plan for you(: Learn to let go of things, you’ll feel happier. Death is part and parcel of life and remember God will always be beside you, guiding you through your life and everybody who cares would be there for you too(: We’ll be there for you and don’t think too much okay? Cheer up cause you’re blessed(: HUGS.

I want to thank my beloved lecturer for this phrase, “Even though I walk through the shadow of valley of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me, your rod and your staff they comfort me”. That’s really encouraging(:

One day after valentine’s and I still feel loved (:

2006-02-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

let's get lovey-dovey.
God gave me a really nice valentine though(: It's the care and love from the people arpund me which make my valentine a special one(: I'm feeling much better today and don't worry man dude, I'll be fine(: School's friggin lovely today except for the boring talk on politics in the auditorum:( It's one boring shat and I was dozing off. I thought we'll at least have some valentine's day talk, but who knows this redundant thang came out. Then, had pinky session after school. It's really nice and funnaye(: Nat and I stuck the white flower Jane gave on our hair! hahaha, I have to admit we looked rather lovely. Hahahah. We were teaching and acting out to our dearest chermaine how to hug a guy randomly. Hahaha. It was hilarious shat. NAT, YOU'RE ONE LOUSY ACTOR, BOO. Hahaha. Then, we cabbed down to town cause chermaine and I were rushing off. We gave the cab driver lots of trouble though, we kept changing the destination. Hahaha. Then, met huiwei when we were in the cab. I threw her wallet out of cab as she happily left her wallet with me. Then, we hugged each other tightly and I went home.

I shall be a nice shit and not blog about some unhappy thangs(:

Thanks for all your prettaye presents sweethearts(:

P.S : I'm gonna have my valentine with God(:

2006-02-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

I'm currently in a devasted mood, but yeah. I'm trying to cheer up. Don't ask me why if I don't smile. I just learning to let things go, it's just the pain of losing someone you love dearly. I had a dream about him passing away, it's weird. Yeah, maybe God wants me to know it beforehand. I believe he will be bless in whenever he is cause I'll be here, right here, praying for him. Just want to tell him I love you, grandpa. Bless you. Thank you for your concern sweethearts.

2006-02-12T22:16:00.000-08:00

OMG, I can't believe I'm still studying. I'm friggin mad about science :( I hate chemistry, it drives me bonkers. I studied math, chinese and science today. How amazing, cause I never really did like to study. I'm far from my goal of being a nerd. Grrrrr, I'm working on it. Anyway, I can't sleep, don't ask me why:/ Oh oh, I just heard a couple qaurrelling outside my house. They sounded really agitated though. The woman was like: " wo men fen shou okay! wei shen me ni yao he wo yi dao liang duan? Ni wei shen zhe yang dui wo?!" And, she started screaming like some crazy banana. It's funnaye but crazy. I cant laugh cause I'm having muscles cramps around my tummy, it sort of electrified me when I laugh. I need to study hard man, the thought of streaming makes my tummy goes crazy. I hope I do well for literature commontest tmr(: Damn for it is unseen. I'm gonna watch our seniors play in the hockey tournament tmr!
GO CRESCENT! CRESCENT HOCKEY NUMBER ONE! (:

2006-02-12T14:30:00.000-08:00

Let them all bury deep down inside.
all the memories make me teary.
all the things i've been doubting is cleared.
No matter what, I'll see you return.
I'm sorry, I lied.
My feelings for you have never changed.

There's literature test tmr, grrrrr. I'm trying to make my schoolwork sound more interesting, but i don't think i can ever make stmg boring interesting. I need to change that stupid mindset which tells me schoolwork is boring. I can't even fit that thang into my mouth. SCHOOLWORK IS FUN( doesn't make sense) There's alot of upcoming tests, rawrrrrrr. Valentine's day will be damn fun, we're going to have a small exchange with the cdiv06' hockey team(: I bought your presents alr, hahahaa. It's prettaye okay(: Hockey trng in NTU ytsd was nice though(: We were gossiping alot on the bus xP I was being such a kind soul on the train(: hahaha.

P.S : can we not say goodbye?

2006-02-11T15:17:00.000-08:00

Is this how love is supposed to be?
I really don't know.
I only know noone is there to clear my doubts and noone is there to give me an answer.
Yeah, I'm silly.
I' m silly because I love you.
I'm silly because I'm willing to get nothing in return.
I'm silly because I'm willing to go the extra mile for you.
I'm silly because you hurt me more than anyone else.
I'm silly because you made me really happy.
I'm silly because I've never love anyone like I love you.
I just wanna shut my eyes and feel the world turns like it should.
Silliness in this love explains my pain, you stole it away.

2006-02-10T21:53:00.000-08:00

He makes us happy people;
I'm feeling better after a long bad week(: I've been too stuffed up with schoolwork, family problems, emotional struggles. But, God's word really calmed me down(: I'm learning how to catch my breath when life can be such a pain. I really want to thank God for blessing me with such good friends and an understanding family. Sometimes when you fall down hard on the ground, you've got to stand up again. You'll never reach a point where you can feel happiness if you're going to whine abt everything and not giving yourself a pull. Thank you TWIN for that cute smiley thang you gave me and the hug(: And sarah for the tight hug you gave. I really needed them alot and appreciate all of your concern(: Thank you horny twin for the sms too(: And, SPUERMAN! for the tag(: I just want to thank all of you ( natasha too!) for being there for me when I'm down(: And, I want to thank Lord for everyone in life which made it a wonder(:

And, not to forget my dear goldfish's birthday is tmr!(:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOLDFISH(:
I just want to say I'll be there for you and stay strong okay?
HUGS(:

P.S : HIGH HIGH HIGH! i think it's hugs day today! :DDDDDD

2006-02-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

my emotional burden is killing me/
i need another pinky session!
I miss you guys hella lotsa.
I need the shoulders again, i need the hugs again.
:(

2006-02-09T17:48:00.000-08:00

Had a talk with my dad on the way to school this morning. So, he has been reading my blog. I thought over everything he said today. I couldn't concentrate in class. Yeah, he was right. I'm not the only one who dreads to go home. I really didn't mean to hurt you guys, sometimes I just moodswing and sometimes I just badmood too much over my own problems. I'm so sorry for being such an unthoughtful girl. Who doesn't have badmoods? I believe my parents have their problems too, maybe they had a bad day at work like we had a bad day in school. Maybe we can share our problems with each other, maybe I should open up to them. Then, we won't have miscommunications. My mind was practically drifting away in class, I realised I've been really unthoughtful and I moodswing alot at home. And, it became a habit. If I had listened to my parents, they wouldn't scold me and make my mood even worse. It's my fault, I've been thinking childishly. I thought over it, maybe if I try to understand them first, they would understand me too. Maybe if I change my mindset abt coming home, it'll be better for everyone. I used to be very absent-minded, but now I'm trying to change. I've remembered to clean the glass shelf, close the toothpaste cover and mop the toilet floor after I bathed. And, even switching the lights off after leaving the room. I'm saving my pocket money and I'm cutting down on my phone. I'm really trying to change my bad habits. I just want to prove to you guys I'm changing, not only for God, but to worry you guys lesser. Yeah, I'm hoping you guys will see that change in me and that it is because God lives in me(: I've been very troubled recently, not only because of my parents, it's also because of grandpa and other personal stuff. But as I was doing bible study, I flipped to John 14:1. Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God. Yes, it's true. I should keep believe in Him, and I know He will always have everything arranged in my life. He always has something better for us(: I'm feeling much better now, after the talk with my dad and thinking through and the word of God which made me learn and reflect(:

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have man entered intot the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love him."
-Corinthians 2:9

2006-02-08T21:38:00.000-08:00

I'm feeling so tired, mentality and physically. I ran alot in school during house practice today. School was stressed and boring:/ There's only pathetic time left to settle so many things. Talking to chermaine on the bus calmed me down somehow(: Thanks smiley twin(: I promise you I'll be okay, I'm just feeling stuffy nowadays, maybe suffocated. My mum reads my inbox though I got nothing to hide. She should at least ask me, I don't really want to argue with her or anybody esle. Like ystd, when my Dad scolded me for my higher chi commontest, I wanted to explain to him, but he wouldn't understand. So, I was like, "yeah, 58 is a lousy score, very lousy lah, i know.". It's wrong when I say nothing, it's also wrong when I say something. I rather keep everything to myself than opening up sometimes. But chermaine, sarah, shyan, gretchen, nat and huijun, I will never forget that night when we really open up to each other(: I love you guys. It's like everything seemed to fall in place that night and thanks for the shoulders(: Life can really bring you down sometimes, but I believe that God always make tomorrow a better day(: It always seems that my happy day stop whenever I reached home:/ I don't want it to be this way, but I always feel useless and wrong at home:(

P. S : tell me everything will be alright.

2006-02-07T21:23:00.000-08:00

I realised we have to treasure the people you love before they are gone.
Just like my grandpa, he's in ICU now. I guess all the tears behind my eyes are never going to flow and all the words I want ot say to him are not going to come out too. But i just wanna tell him I love him:(
okay, I got 58 for higher chinese commontest. It's not very good, but there was only 28 passes in class and my class got the highest number of passes. But, it's still a lousy score:/
I'm feeling RAWRRRR now. I don't think I can even take it if I'm going to think about the things you said to me just noow. Yeah, don't worry, if you want to go, I will go far away from you. So that you won't be so bothered about my presence. Your words are leaving me confused and hurt, oh thank you. I exceeded my phonebills:( That's unexpected, my outgoing calls. 16 bucks would be deducted from ym pocket money:( Rawrrrrrrrrr. I'm going to pray that everything will be okay the next day(: I believe God creates wonders and miracles(:

I felt much better, thanks shyan for cheering me up, hugs(:
and, the presence of the Lord eased me.

P.S : valentine's without you makes no difference.

2006-02-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

Always and Forever;
Finally, I'm back from all the stress in school. I just had my math test and geo commontest today. Math was screwed, Geo was okay(: My wireless network was being crazy last few days, so I couldn't blog:( Anyway, went out with Sarah, Fy, Shyan and Chermaine today! We were in kfc, chatting as usual(: Then, we decided to walk around in fareast which I thought it kind of made us hungry. So, we sat at some desert place and ate icecream brownies and icecream waffle(: It was damn delicious please. Sarah Kate Smith made me spit out all my water by humouring me, GRRRRRRR. We were using the dirty icecream on the table to dirty some of the faces we don't like on the table, it was damn hilarious! hahhaha. Then, we hugged and went home(: Chermaine and I had a great heart-to-heart talk on the way home(:
HEY SMILEY TWIN! JUST REALISED WE GOT THE SAME SMILE!(:
hahaha, that's pretty cool. Anyway, you got to be strong okay. No matter what, God will bless you and He always have better things arranged in our lives for us(: Continue praying and I believe He will answer your prayer like He answered mine!(: HOCKERS will be there for you too, pinky promise, remember? Hugs girl(:
I find it really amazing how God has changed my life completely. Recently, my Dad said he doesn't object me going to church but not that often. That's a good start(: I believe God heard my prayers and I really want thank God for everything in my life though not perfect, but I'm really happy(: I guess I got to continue to work hard and prove my parents wrong and that God has changed me and my life is never the same, it has become more meaningful now(: I love you, Lord.
Oh oh, VALENTINE'S DAY IS COMING! hahaha, I going to do my valentine shopping soon(: And and, I'm gonna watch fun with dick and jane! YAY. hahaha, my Mum watched it with her friends already and she said it's real funnaye:DD Okay, it's commontest period, but I'm feeling really hyper and I don't know why:/

P.S : spongebob boxers are really adorable(:

2006-02-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

Hey girl, I wanna catch your wave.
Second time I'm blogging today, I'm just HYPER today.Jane and I were studying at KAP, geography was really a pain:/ Then, this ex-crescentian approached us for some survey thang. She's going to buy the crescent funfair ticket from me! Hahaha. Then, Jane and I took 171 to newton mrt, we were staring at how the malaysian railway track works, it horrifying though. Shrugs. I went to visit my grandpa in the hospital after that, I guess I can accept the fact that everybody has to die one day better now(: I'm really glad to see him looking better today(: I'm learning to take things easy, maybe life would be better this way(:

I watched I'm not stupid two with my parents and sister on Tuesday, it was not bad :DD It was really hilarious, so lame, cool man, whatever. Hahahaha. There's valentine's service this saturday, I have a date! hahaha. STARES AT SHYAN(:

Lord, you made me fall harder and stand stronger each time.
I love you.

2006-02-02T16:30:00.000-08:00

I love school :DD
I love my partner, she rocks please(:
I love train rides with my twin(:
I love being horny with gretchen!
I love bickering with idiot.
I love waving:DD

I don't know why, i'm feeling so randomly happy.
Commontest was okay though, now at kap, studying with twin(:

ILOVEHAZEL!
IKNOWTWIN(:

2006-01-30T15:00:00.000-08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!
I changed my blogskin again! (:
yesterday was visiting, visiting and visiting.
I kept eating, i think I gained about 1kg.
hahaha, the best part was actually the hongbao lahhhh.
hahaha, $$$$$$$$$$$.
LMFAO, I'm not really money face, just love the fact that i got money(:
Today is boring lahhhh, stayed at home and studied.
hahaha, HELLO HAZEL THE NERD :DD
okay, i got one of the pictures we took on friday!
SARAH, CAN YOU SEND ME EVERYTHING?(:

L-O-V-E

2006-01-30T11:17:00.000-08:00

So much for contradictions.
i just need to talk to you face to face.
so over with you, so done with wishing that you were still here.

RAWRRRRRRR, I LOVE CDIV HOCKEY 06'(:

2006-01-28T16:56:00.000-08:00

THE NIGHT WILL GO ON;
Last night's hockey party was great! We should have more parties(: All i want to say to Mdm Yap is that thanks for the support and I really love you!(: The food was damn nice, gretchen,nat, shyan and me fried the beehoon, it's delicious okay! hahaha. We messed the whole kitchen up, hahaha. Then, we went into the pool and I really love the game we played. It was so hilarious man. And the pinky promise we made, last night was totally bonding and this is what i want to say to you guys (nat, sarah kate SMITH, gretchen, shyan, huijun and chermaine) :
It's really an amazing night, so much of bonding and stuff. I was wishing we could cuddle together like last night forever. It was really a crazy emo night but all I want say is I LOVE YOU GUYS. I really hope the night would never end. HUGS(:

Sometimes I just wonder is it so hard to say i love you when you're dying.
I really don't know.
I believe you know the words I longed to say.
I love you, really.

2006-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been;

Today was partially screwed, no hockey, no fun, no service, no worship:( There's so much work to do later and I've got study for higher chi commontest which is on monday. Grrrrrr. Chinese New Year is like round the corner and there's no mood of it at all. After CNY, we'll continue with commontests. I think I'm suffering from early signs of brain disease already, there's test practically everyday. Sheesshhh. I have to leave the internet for a few weeks, RAWR. Anyway, I've changed my blogskin as I was trying to do stmg less boring than homework first. I love this one though(: I'm going out with my parents later which I looking forward to, to give me an excuse from all the work. So, uhm, yay. At least now, there's relient k keeping me company(:

I watched the proverbial sunrise
Coming up over the pacific
And you might think I'm losing my mind
But I will shy away from the specifics
Cause I don't want you to know where I am
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to try to live my life

Stop right there
That's exactly where I lost it
See that line
Well, I never should have crossed it
Stop right there
Well I never should've said that
It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back

I'm sorry for the person I became
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change
I'm ready to be sure
I never become that way again
Cause who I am hates who I've been
Who I am hates who I've been

I talked to absolutely no one
Coudn't keep to myself enough
And the things bottled inside had finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'd soon blow up
And I heard the reverberating footsteps
Syncing up to the beating of my heart
And I was positive that unless
I got myself together
I would watch me fall apart
And I can't let that happen again
Cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been
And this is no place to live my life

edgingontheworldwhereisawyouagain

2006-01-20T19:00:00.000-08:00

YOU'RE MY SPONGEBOB, I'M YOUR PATRICK!
but can i please be spongebob? hahahaha.

School was a bore, urgh urgh urgh. I was only paying attention to math only, i have to admit. There was test today again, it was okay though. A few hilarious things happened in class, my beloved partner happily scribbled on her math journal and Mrs low used a red pen and pointed at it and worte this," WHAT IS THIS?" It damn retarded mannnn. She was just testing out her pen ink you see. sheeesshh. We decorated our classroom today! hahaha. We changed it into so-chinese-new-year mood, the board was filled with angbao fishes! I think it really niceeeee, hahaha. I hope we'll win the CNY deco competition(: Ohoh, when I was talking about CHUN DAO. Then this lantern which was hung on the wall dropped onto wenning's head. hahahaha. I thought i said something wrong:/ I think it's a total waste of time when our timetable says that we have an hour break and after that, attend half an hour of lesson and go home at THREE. RAWRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

There's hockeyyy trng in the morning tmr!
YAYYYYYYYYY.
The end parts of the words are making me feel gorggy.

iloveyoustillbutimhappyasitisnow.

2006-01-19T20:55:00.000-08:00

HOCKEY HOCKEY HOCKEY!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
It's the only thing which i look forward today, school was tiring. I slept after the chinese test:/ Denise was being so hilarious okay, apple and pear! ROFL. SARAH KATE SMITH, thanks for making me laugh like an idiot today. I think nat got a problem with her weird tummy, it kept growling. NAT, YOU'RE PREGNAENT WE KNOW. haha. We were singing to nat's tablet while to delta. we sang DON'T CHA by pussycatdolls and sarah was so into the song that she went like "DON'T CHA BABY" in a very hot way. Melts. I love today only because of hockey, everything else wasn't good:/

There's alot i wanna tell you after so long,
but it seems like the words just stuffed my mouth up.
I've got no courage to tell you anymore how much i really treasure you.
You've made me so blistered.

iloveyoureallyitstrue/

2006-01-18T20:24:00.000-08:00

You're still with me in my dreams.
School has been great except for tests, tests and tests. Commontests have started, cries. Today was another fun day in school, except the fact that geo class test was today. But, it was easy though(: I didn't go for house party, went to tiong with ying instead. Then, went to town to meet twin! We ate fried mars bar from far east, it's chao delicious! hahaha. She's an expert in yummy food. Whenever I'm with her, first thing first, FOOD. hahaha. Then, we went to get a present for her friend and went home(: I'm feeling randomly happy today! haha. RAWRRRRRR.

2006-01-15T18:22:00.000-08:00

MAN UTD LOST TO MAN CITY! 3-1
HOW DISAPPOINTING.

TA-DAH!
hahaha, I'm hyper today!
My parents brought me to this international buffet restuarant this afternoon. Omg, I ate till I thought my tummy was going to explode. I was practically bloated after the buffet. But, it was nice though(: Then, went home as there's a huge pile of work waiting for me. Urgh, I really seriously hate homework. RAWR. Anyway, thanks for the birthday smses, tags, testimonials, cards, surprises, presents, hugs, kisses and calls! I really appreciate all of them(: I really enjoyed my fourteen birthday! It's really a happy and blessed one sweethearts(: LOVE YOU GUYS ALWAYS(: Thanks mummy and daddy for the expensive meal, hahaha. And, the angbao and the lovely necklace!(: I LOVE YOU GUYS TOO! and, of course my sisters(: tmr is daddy's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY! I love you and mummy too! xD hahaha. There's common test tmr! GRRRR. Luckily, it's english comprehension. There's trng after school tmr, at least hockey is something I look forward to(: hahaha. GIRLGIRL and I took random pics just now, sheesh.

IT'S ALL ABOUT BLESSED AND LOVE(:

2006-01-13T21:03:00.000-08:00

School was quite fun today(: The hockey shirt looks really adorable at the back!(: My class sang a birthday song for me, how sweet(: hahaha. ANDAND, I had a lovely surprise from my WONDERFUL BELOVED SWEETHEARTS(: They tricked me and I was taken in by them okay. haha. I really didnt know that you guys had planned a surprise for me! hahaha. The cake with candle but no fire was really adorable, hahaha. Thanks for the Man Utd bottle and the other presents! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!(: HUGS SWEETS(: I was really shocked when you guys appeared with the cake and sang the birthday song. I didn't know what to react, it was just unexpected. hahaha. I'm really happy to have you guys as my friends and i want to thank God for such great friends and a wonderful birthday!(: It's SUPERMAN'S birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUPERMAN!(: You've been a great friend and thanks for being my superman! I love you sweets, HUGS girl. It's actually not my birthday today, mine's on sunday. hahaha. It's okay Teran my sexxaye. hahaha.
I decided to forget about all the unhappy stuff which happened today(: THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR MAKING MY DAY(:

anyway, i didn't do all those things you assume that i did. You can wrong me or blame me, whatever, I don't care anymore. I'm sick and tired of your lies and I would rather remain unforgiven if you think I'm at fault cause I don't really care whether you want to be my friend or not or whether I'm forgiven or not. I'm just didn't do it, believe it or not, it's up to you. I'm not going to let you spoil my day nor my life.

I FEEL REAL HAPPINESS.

2006-01-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

Today was a tiring day. School was exhausting enough, then came ~~PBL~~ after school which totally tire me out. It was really boring, cldn't help yawning the whole time. We were supposed to come up with a problem, i cldn't think of a decent one. In the end, i came up with high rate of abortion, how boring. Then went home with huiwei and candice, took 132. I slept on the bus and had three bangs against the window panes. I need to re-do four jian bao as chen lao shi insisted that i only did four. RAWRrrrrrrrrr.

There's hockey tmr!I'm sure I'll be feeling so much better(:

you're my wonderwall.
you give me strength to look forward to every day of my life

2006-01-08T12:17:00.000-08:00

Thanks for cheering me up, sweets. Things are getting better(: Thank God for that(: I thank you for answering my prayers and for making my everyday so meaningful. I don't want to let those corrupt my mind cause i know Lord, you've changed me. I love you, Lord. You really eased my mind with your word. Thanks to everybody who tried cheering me up, you guys really rock.

anyway, went for hockey trng ystd morning. I woke up chao early in the morning, like 4.58a.m!?Trng was tiring and it screwed my muscles up. I'm aching all over, but I love trng. The match was not bad(: After trng, Sarah,Huijun,Nat,Shyan,Tas and me went to tiong Macs' for lunch. We were laughing like shat in macs'. Sarah threw fries on me, then I started throwing at her too. We poured all our fries onto the tray and they formed a FRIES VOLCANO.hahahaa.Nat and Sarah did the campfire thing, wiggle wiggle shake shake. omg, it was so funnaye.Then, shyan insisted on walking ard as she felt very full. So, we left Sarah and Nat in macs playing air hockey with their HANDPHONES AND EZ-LINK CARDS.hahahah.Then sarah called me when i was outside macs and we were only seperated by a clear glass window. We talking to each other while looking at each other. omg, it was so lame. Then sarah was like, " We are wasting our money!"
Me," No, not mine! I have free-incoming calls! hahahahah!" She was like, " GRRRR". haahaha. Then we went home. We were at the mrt station sitting back facing back on the chair. It looked like some kind of stupid pathetic campfire.hahaha. Nat and I went home tgt, we were playing rugby at the mrt station. It was so dumb and embarassing. hahaha. We slept on the train, we too drained out i guess. Then went home and went out again. My Dad bought my Mum a new pair of specs which is really nice! RAWR. and a MP3. It's so cute, it's in a shape of a cube.GRRRrrrrrrr. hahahaah. i was so beat ystd that I fell asleep once i reached home. Tmr's school day, YAY and BOO. YAY because there's hockey, BOO because there's test. GRRRRR. I think that the sec ones hockers are so cute(: That was random, hahaha.

It's the beauty when you hear your love calling out for someone else.

2006-01-06T18:06:00.000-08:00

another bad day in school.
got demerited by azlin for skirt, but my skirt was at knee-length. Forget it, screwed skirts. I can't explain why i'm feeling so moody. I've got my problems which i can't share. I tried to cheer up a few times today, but it's just making me feel worse. Maybe huiwei's right, but I have no choice. I believe if you were in my shoes, you'll be as screwed as me. Science was the worst part of the day. If i got the chance to choose, i won't be feeling so bad. But sadly, reality is so cruel and it just slammed my heart tactlessly. I prayed every night for thing to get better, but it got worse. I'm just so tired, noone understands. I felt like i'm talking to the tablet everyday. I guess my emotions are dead. Had dedication ceremony in the hall today, it was okay. Went to clark quay with denise after school, ate japenese food and went home. Someone crack me up, my face is so numb. What a first week in school.

i tried to turn things around, really.

2006-01-05T09:36:00.000-08:00

i need to take a deep breath before i explode.
screwed problems.

2006-01-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

TO MY WONDERFUL SPAMMER(:
i don't care what you say abt me, it's my problem, not yours.
you can say whatever you want abt me, but i don't care at all.
and, that's was so lame. i know i have small boobs, but so what?
omg, you're so shallow. hahahaha. posting a picture of a bra was for fun.
LOL. maybe you hate me or something, i don't care. I think you should just hate me as much as you want, doesn't matter. haha. anyway anon*, thanks!(:

Today's a nice day. School started out great. I don't feel like blogging today, lazy. hahaha. BYE.

You'll catch me when i fall.

2006-01-03T17:50:00.000-08:00

First day of school was a total bore. Plus i wasn't feeling well. Sadly to say, it's supposed to be a fun day in school, but i caught a flu. Surprisely, our form teacher is chen lao shi. hahaha. She's not bad though. I love my new subject teachers(: John teo is once again our science teacher, BOO. hahaha. I seriously wonder how will he teach chapters six and seven, interesting(: Denise and Xinshyan got me some lacey bra which looks totally so WOW.

They were playing with it in class, how amazing. I thought it's kind of funnaye if i wear it cause i don't have hotness to fit that, obviously. But, anyway thanks darlings(: Xinshyan got me pink soap and candy!Sadly, i can't eat the candy, it's gonna screw my damn flu. The pink soap is so sweet-smelling(: Thanks shyan, i love you guys man!(: Thanks to everyone who got me gifts(: Girlfriend came to our class today and hugged me! No kisses, cause i'm infectious, BOO. Then went home with twin. Oh, HAPPY BLEATED BIRTHDAY TWIN!(: I think this is the fourth time i'm wishing you, be glad love!(: Oh great, tmr's gonna be a long day in school. I'm going to get a new united nations blouse at queensway. I just popped in a panadol, no help. URGH. I'm going to take a nap, screwed. I got my new year resolutions already.
1) Study harder.
2) Get into hockey team.
3) Be a good girl.
4) Pays attention in class.
5) Get my guitar right.
6) Play less, i guess.

That's all i've planned so far. I really wanna be GOOD, no more fooling around.

2006-01-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

HOOBASTANK THE REASON.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

I know I hurt you, ***. But I feel pain too. I tried to change, to show you how God has changed me. I did, but you guys just didn't see it. Everytime I try, there's bound to be something which got to make me lose my control and hurt you guys. It's so difficult just to show you guys I'm trying. But I won't give up okay, I'll show you guys it's GOD who gave me the strength to keep trying. I know that one day you guys would see that I did and how hard i'm trying. Sometimes it hurts that you guys just don't see it.

Lord, i'll hold on to you when i fall.

2005-12-31T22:34:00.000-08:00

TA-DAH.
I've received my salary, YAY. Actually, it's because they are going to bank it into my dad's account, so my dad gave me his money first! hahaha. I love daddy man!(: I'll be going out with fy on monday, as promised ages ago. I swoopped beds with felicia, i'm not used to hers:(What can i do if she insisted in swoopping beds with me. today is the 31ST OF DECEMBER and i'm going for the countdown ltr! The year passed really fast and i'm starting to miss everything. I wonder if everything would be the same happy times next year. I'm going for Megan's birthday party tmr!(: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEGAN BABY!(: SCHOOL'S GOING TO REOPEN IN 2 HALF DAYS TIME! i'm kinda of excited though. There won't be any 1S3 next year, BOO. and this makes us look so juniorless. hahaha. It doesnt really matter actually. I LOVE CLANCY FROM PAUL FRANK.

CLANCY!(:

Work as if everything depends on you, pray as if everything depends on God.

2005-12-30T13:26:00.000-08:00

changed my blogskin(: I did it by myself and little help by gladys.I'm not out at huiwei's house cause kingkong cannot make it.My dad is gonna cancel the internet broadband at home soon.Nehmind, don't know if I can survive without internet, but i'll try.hahahaha.I'm going for the countdown tmr! Daddy's gonna check whehter my salary is banked in or not. Why is it taking like forever? GRRRR.School's reopening in abt three days time. BOO,YAY. i don't know.But i completed my homework! I miss school, but i won't have as much freedom when school reopens.Nehmind, it doesn't really matter though.hahahaha.I can't go for service tmr, my mum doesn't allow me to:( anyway, i love this song!

I love you Lord.
Greater than anything.
I love you Lord.
More than my heart could say.
I love you Lord.
More than I love myself.
I love you Lord, i love you Lord, i love you Lord.

P.S: SALARY PLEASE!

2005-12-29T09:30:00.000-08:00

today was fun fun fun!(:
Went to ulu pandan community centre to play badminton with churchfriends!It was so damn fun, but my legs are aching though.We had doubles match.Huiwei and I were in the same team versus June and Sinyee.We lost, damn sorry huiwei!hahaha.Then, we played soccer with the guys(: after that, we went for bowling! hahaha. it was damn fun, girls versus boys for the first game.They put my name as HAZELNUT. Thanks ah.hahaha.I'M DAMN LOUSY OKAY. Butbut, i got a strike once! YAY!(: hahaha.Then, went home and i hate train rides because i feel so lonely on the train. hahah.I'm going to complete my one and only last chinese newspaper article now!I'm going to huiwei's house tmr, dangdang!(: There's much more to blog abt, but HAZELAW is practically too ~~lazy~~ to.

ALL OF YOU GUYS MADE ME SMILE LIKE I MEAN IT TODAY(:

2005-12-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU LORD!(:
Went for hockey trng in the morning today.
natasha was being so nice to take away 30 mins more of my sleep.
trng was okay, but im aching all over.
hahaha.
after trng, we went to far east and ate kfc.
we were making lots of noise and had a great time crapping.
hahahaha.
then we had a group hug and i went for care group!(:
It was really nice and we sang two songs to worship Lord.
We did some bible study and stuff.
yup.
Lord, i wanna thank you for so many things.
But, most importantly, i wanna thank you for the unconditional love you gave me(:
Then went to ps and ate takopachi.
SUPERMAN WAS BEING SO MEAN TO JOANNE.
hahahhaha.
then went home tgt(:

going for badminton tmr!(:
alrights, i'm left with ~~four chinese newspaper articles~~!

P.S: i'm desperate for my salary.

2005-12-27T09:20:00.000-08:00

You're my beautiful memory;
URGH. URGH. URGH.
I haven't finish literature homework.
:(

Anyway, i don't want to blog abt how frustrated am i abt the undone work.

hey you, i know it takes two hands to clap. The past is over, you brought it up and now you're telling me we're not close anymore. yeah, the truth is we were never close ever since you said you don't feel for me anymore. I took two months to forget abt it, what a joke huh. sometimes i feel so silly, but that was the past. i can tell you straight into your face that i don't need you anymore, get it? it's not that i hate you, neither do i dislike you, it's just that i don't want to think abt the past, neither do i want to think abt you. I can say that the person i loved does not exist anymore and he'll be my memory. That's enough. Really, i'm happy as ever now. At least, i've got friends who truely care(:

going huiwei's house now!
BYE! (:

2005-12-25T19:19:00.000-08:00

Shona sent me this really funnaye song by the veggietales!
i was laughing my ass off.

i watched perhaps love wit fangying a few days ago. It was quite nice though, i kept thinking how will the ending be. hahahaha. RU GUO AI. I THINK IT'S LIKE THIS IN HAN YU PIN YIN. i'm lousy at it you see.

going to huiwei's house tmr! to play and ~~study~~.
BYE PEOPLE!(:

2005-12-24T18:31:00.000-08:00

MY LITTLE BRACES GUY! I LOVE!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

2005-12-24T11:12:00.000-08:00

All i want for christmas is You;
Went to Christmas service at HOPE yesterday!(:
It was really nice and fun.
GOD IS OUR PATIENT GOD(:
AMEN!(:
This christmas really felt so different.
It's the first time im celebrating it for God.
I really want to thank Him for great things and friends He has put in my life, esp my churchfriends.
I had so much fun with you guys and it really felt different.
I believe you can hear me, Lord.
I'm really happy with them around, it's just a feeling you can't really explain and it's different.
Their company eased my worries and made me really happy.
Though i can't go for service often cause my parents object me of doing so, i'll still keep the fire for God burning.
Praise the Lord!(:

Before service, went to queensway and town to do christmas shopping with huiwei, clara, june and sinyee. June was being so funnaye, she and her laughter. Town was more crowded than usual, and there's carolling! June and Huiwei challenged Clara and me to starhub. But, we lost. Cara and I were running like siao char bo through the whole of centrepoint, through crowds and everyone was staring at us like as if we are crazy ppl who escaped from some mental hospital. We were sweating like pigs. ROFL. It was so much fun and love yesterday! I LOVE GOD, THE ONE WHO COMES DOWN TO US, THE PATIENT ONE AND HOPE!(:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
that was so random(:

HUIWEI, thanks for your card! LOVE MUCH.
thanks everyone for your lovely presents!(:

everything is different now with you, my God.
You broke my chain of sins.
You're always there to lift me when i fall, You never let me go.
Lord, i give you my all.

I'LL BE THE ONE WHO SING YOUR PRAISE, MY SAVIOUR.
(:

2005-12-22T10:54:00.000-08:00

I'm jumping for this Christmas;

This year's christmas to me is different from the other years' cause this is the first year i'm feeling God's love in christmas(: I first had my touch with God early this year, my life has changed drastically ever since. Though my parents object me of going to church and stuff, but I keep the fire burning for God. I pray that my parents will accept me as a christian and that's my christmas wish this year. I quarrelled with my parents several times because of this, it made em very upset. But, i know God knows i'm reaching out for Him and He'll answer my prayers too(: I want to thank Him for everything he has put in my life. The difficult times where He eased my fears and gave me strength, my family who loves me, my friends who are always there for me and the sisters and brothers in the kingdom of God(: They have made my life complete, I thank God for them and for the unconditional love you gave me(: I remember when i was feeling down in the dumps, He had showed me the way to live, the way to love, the way to stand up again. I really want to thank everybody who has been by my side all these while and GOD, even Him and you guys, i might be wasting my life away like i used to. I LOVE YOU, MY LORD. AMEN(:

CHRISTMAS COMING!(:

How fast the year past, i'm gonna be sec two next year(:
i believe next year will be better(:
This year really has been an experience for me, so dramatic and tough.
i believe nothing is easy anyway, just got to try and stand up again.
the tears seems funnily stained on my face, i guess it's time to wipe them away.
all the broken pieces randomly on the floor, i guess it's time to pick them up too.
i'll keep all the happy memories of this year in my heart.
and to my ex-clique, it's been tough but i love you guys(:
we all got to move on, that's all.
life's like this, isn't it?
THIS CHRISTMAS, HERE I COME.
lalalalalala.
(:

2005-12-21T14:47:00.000-08:00

i was bored.

1. what are you doing?
shouting at my sister.
2. what were you doin before?
sms-ing sunshine.
3. who are you thinking of?
SANTA.
4. what time did you sleep last night?
eleven PLUS.
what did you do yesterday?
shopping and cut my hair, how screwed.
6. what did you last say to a friend?
you porno, sick ass.
7. what attracts u to the opposite sex?
HIM.
8. what makes you happy?
almost everything, i guess(:
9.what are you wearing right now?
pyjamas, i know it's late afternoon.
10. what will you do after answering this?
what do you expect me to do?
11. who was the last person you talked to?
my sister.
12. what do you want to tell ur crush?
CRUSHES STINK.
13. when is your birthday?
150192
what you wanna get for your birthday?
anything, im not fussy.
15. when did you last cry?
I think it was on last saturday cause' i was watching this touching movie.
16. when did you last smile?
a few seconds ago.
17. why are u answering these questions?
because i'm using it as an excuse from my homework.
18. when will you marry?
if at the age of 85, i'm still looking good, then i will marry at 85.
19. when did u last receive a gift?
last week, from my sister.
20. when did you last drink alcoholic?
last month, at my cousin's wedding. it doesn't taste good, you know.
21. who will you vote for president?
PAUL FRANK(:
22. who was the last person you talked about?
sunshine.
23. who makes you happy?
everyone,really everyone.
24. who has the cutest smile you've ever seen?
PAUL FRANK(:
25. who do you talk on d phone with often?
i dont like to talk on the phone, it stinks.
26. do you take drugs?
NO, but im hyper :DD
27. are you a shopaholic?
YES, DEFINITELY.
28. do you have someone in mind that you wish to get marry with?
CAN I MARRY TWO? WAYNE ROONEY AND RONALDHINO.ROFL.
29. do you like swimming?
YES(:
30. do you wear eye contacts?
NO, i dont even dare put it in.
31. do you kiss your parents good night?
used to, not anymore.
32. does your bf/gf often send you messages?
YES, MY GIRLFRIEND DOES(:
33. how about in e-mail?
NO, EMAIL IS VERY WOLS.
34. hair colour?
brown black. I WANT PURPLE HAIR(:
35. hair style?
short.
36. feeling right now?
50:50
37. what makes u feel like that?
100 percent ran away i guess.
38.how do you treat your loved ones?
LOVE.
39 Do u like the weather today?
NO, it's too cloudy.
40. what r u wishing now?
to get my salary soon and complete rest of my homework and i hoped this survey could have been shorter.

2005-12-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

The sprain at my knee is getting better, i guess.
But, i'm not feeling any better.
i'm feeling so URGH. (can't explain)
Music isn't really of much help though.
i want to go to I-DON'T-CARE place, opposite plaza sing, and scream, scream and scream till everything is alright.
but, i can't go out cause daddy doesn't allow me to because of my sprained knee, STINKS.
it's okay, BREATHE BREATHE.
that was so dumb.
nehmind, i'll find a way to feel better(:
i'm gonna do the rest of my homework now.
tell me is this going to make me feel better?
I'M GONNA HAVE A BAD DAY:(
nehmind, tmr will be better, i hope.

baby, you're making a ~~fool~~ out of me AGAIN.

2005-12-20T11:14:00.000-08:00

I SPRAINED MY KNEE, KINDA BAD.
gotta stop hockey for the this week:(
i wanna scream, my knee hurts.
i'll pray that things would get better.
i'll bear with the pain and just hope it'll go away soon.
I'll smile cause i'll feel the pain lesser this way i guess.
(:

going out to ps too with my sisters and her friend.
then cut hair my hair = CHECKED.

2005-12-19T11:32:00.000-08:00

~~CHELSEA~~ WON.
THIS MEANS ARSENAL LOST.
THIS ALSO MEANS I CANNOT KNOW WHO'S SUNSHINE.
:(
chelsea is like unbeatable now, stinks.
i'm watching paul frank's cartoon now.
it's so funnaye and the animations looks so cute.
okay, HOCKEY HERE I COME.
ROFL.

2005-12-18T18:10:00.000-08:00

FIRST SCREAM FOR YOU.

SECOND SCREAM FOR MYSELF.

LAST SCREAM FOR ALL I'VE LET GO.

(:

~~CHELSEA~~ AND ARSENAL'S MATCH UP NEXT(:

2005-12-18T14:00:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking alot recently. i was confused whether to let you in again. but now, i've got the answer. i'll tell you when we meet. i've listened to my heart, baby.

MAN UTD WON AV!(:
2-0.
i was practically shouting and going crazy.
Wayne Rooney's the man!(:
i'm praying for a 10 game winning streak for man utd.
(:
daddy bought me a man utd shirt ystd(:
LOVELOVELOVE!(:
mummy thinks i'm all over man utd, but that's true.
ever since primary six, i've started to like soccer until it turns out to be an obsession today.
ROFL.
Christmas is coming!
and, i haven't got all the presents ready yet.
i can't wait to see the lacey tube bra denise and shyan got for me.
LMFAO, they really got a TASTE in presents eh.
hahahahaha.
there's hockey trng tmr!
LOVE!(:
i feel like a happy girl in this 50:50 world.
ROFL.
(:

2005-12-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

had hockey trng today, it was pretty okay(:
certain things brought me back to you, but i'm so not going to give in anymore.
i'm not going to torture myself with your shadows anymore cause i'm more and more myself lately.

HAZEL'S HAZEL.

2005-12-15T20:23:00.000-08:00

i suddenly like to listen to michelle branch's songs, don't ask me why.
i'm just weird.

Goodbye to you
Of all the things i've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But i do not cry,
Counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul,
Words that i'm hearin' are starting to get old,
It feels like i'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
And i say

goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
you the one i loved,
the one thing i tried to hold on to.

i still get lost in your eyes,
it seems that i can't live a day without you,
Closing my eyes,
And you chase my thoughts away,
To a place where i am blinded by the light,
But it's not right.

goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything i thought i knew,
You were the one i loved,
The one thing that i tried to hold on to.
Hold on to...

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and i want what's mine,
I want you,
But i'm not giving in this time

And when the stars fall i will lie awake,
You're my shooting star.

There's so much to do, i'm like so messed up.
i'm gonna cut my hair, shaving is kinda cute too.
i need to complete my homework by next week, i hate this most.
i have to get that black backpack and that white hotdog-looking bag.
get nat her slippers and mine.
go to town wit fy to get her patty book and my bags.
get my sec two books.
guitar please.
get chermaine her friend or foe : CHECKED.
return daddy 110 bucks, i'm still waiting for my salary.
clean my hockey turfshoes : CHECKED.
i owe jaey, zoey and james their outings, soon sweets.
i think there's many more things to do, just that my brain, sadly, can only store half of them.

i'm feeling more of myself.

2005-12-14T21:53:00.000-08:00

I found myself today;
had hockey carnival today.
It was really a great experience, yeah(:
had a swollen finger, but it's now less swollen(:
then went tiong wit some of the hockers.
we were having a great laugh at kfc.
i mean we were being really horny and stuff.
esp SARAH. she grabbed her boobs and was acting SO-JANET-JACKSON.
LMFAO.
and she was practically singing aloud, how embarassing.
but, it cracked everybody up.
then went to nat's house(:
we watched austin powers and raise your voice.
austin powers was damn horny!!
i was like " ewwww. he keep touching his balls."
nat was like " yeah. omg! he's doing it again!"
LMAFO.
that Dr. evil was like " i'm finding my balls for god's sake!"
and, he was touching them and counting them like " one, two, three, phew."
It was damn horny.
raise your voice was kind of emotional.
haha, nat and i were laughing our asses off watching austin powers.
then went home(:

i'm back to hilary duff, i love her.
i think she got the voice within, yeah.
listening to "someone's watching over me" now.
it's really inspiring(:

a voice of reason in me fought back my fears.

2005-12-13T19:12:00.000-08:00

GOOD LUCK TO US TMR(:

i'm off to that plane which i believe, i always believe.

chermaine sweets, i hope you think abt what i've said and brace yourself up alrights?
cause you and i believe that everything has its way out(:

2005-12-12T20:58:00.000-08:00

I'm so hollow, baby.
had gym this morning, followed by trng.
it was tiring and screwed.
having hockey carnival on wednesday.
i don't know what to feel, like excited or nervous.
i just hope we'll all do our best and play well okay?
trust your mates, play the game.
I know it was really annoying that during trng, people shout at you.
but, accept it and continue.
it's not ONE person, it's the TEAM.
we play as a team okay.
c'mon, you guys are machomacho, remember?
hahahaha.
i just had a muscle pull, stinks.
going to school tmr, then towning with fangying(:

i'm so devasted abt the fact that MAN UTD is out of the champions league.
that's so rotten okay.
i supported MAN UTD since ages ago.
urgh, wayne rooney, one of my favourite players, played like SO-NOT-ROONEY.
ARSEANAL isn't doing very well too.
both my favourite teams are downdowndown:(
I HATE CHELSEA and they are leading.
okay, thast really stinks a million.
enough of football.

SAVE YOURSELF.

2005-12-11T22:10:00.000-08:00

I'm schizophrenic;
went to queensway with my parents and sisters today.
bought my hockey turfshoes and a pair of nike sportshoes(:
mummy bought me a belt too(:
then went to IMM to have dinner and shopped around.
then went home.
there will be trng and gym tmr(:
I MISS HOCKEY.
can't wait for tmr's trng.
come morining come :DD

i've been feeling down into the dumps recently.
can't really explain why.
i feel rotten, thinking back at the past.
i feel great being single, but i admit i do feel pathetic whenever i need someone to be there.
i've got to sort things out.
i'm not like some other girls who can say yes to love without hesitation.
i'm just not ready to get into a relationship.
moreover, i never want to turn back again.
and, i don't think i want to have someone who don't make me feel like myself.
i'm great this way and things will still be the same like how it is in the past.
we'll be there for each other alright? trust me, i will.
i'm just a call away okay?
yeah, if only you had told me earlier, but we can never turn back time.
i believe things will be better(:

okay, i still got some work not done.
urgh. got to finish them up quickly.
holidays are ending soon :(
but i like the fact school's starting too(:
ROFL.

Lord, you're my beginning and my forever(:

2005-12-10T09:40:00.000-08:00

down the drains;
You know i've moved on.
I tried so hard just to shake you off.
everything may not be the same, but trust me, i like it this way.
i don't know whether to hate or not to care.
seems like whenever i close my eyes, it's you that i see.
My heart would just ache and i don't get it.
why is it you that made me so twisted?
why in the world must i know you?
I don't understand.
i can't help thinking abt the past.
everytime it happens, i'll just occupy myself wit stuff to do.
you know it's difficult, why do you still have to put me through?
i'm so sick of you.
the one who screwed my heart.
i'm not gonna hate you.
it's just as waste of time.

2005-12-10T00:19:00.000-08:00

All the love we missed;
Just back from Malaysia.
omfg, it was so damn fun(:
went to genting highlands for 2 days.
OHOHOH. I LOVE THE THRILL RIDES IN THE OUTDOOR THEME PARK!(:
the indoor theme park was quite fun too.
i sat the corkscrew and the flying coaster too!
omfg. it was damn thrilling and scary.
rofl. vivian's bubble gum shot out during the ride.
LMFAO.
we ate hella lotsa of fastfood at genting.
MARRYBROWN SUCKS.
it tasted like shit.
their food is much more expensive than singapore's.
i love the bumper cars too.
i was banged in the middle of two stupid guys.
rofl, but i got my revenge(:
hotel resort was okay, quite spacious.
Our room is linked to brandon's.
omfg. Brandon is damn noisy and retarded.
That acs boy, SHRUGS.
went to arcade on the last night at genting.
WOOHOO. i won brandon in two car racing games :DD
The arcade at genting is damn big, you can really play non-stop.
On the third day, we took a coach down to sunway lagoon.
the journey was bloody long.
we checked in the hotel there at like 3 plus.
the hotel is damn nice okay.
the design is WHAO.
Then, we went shopping and i bought 4 shirts for myself.
Shopping was great!(:
We bought hella lotsa of stuff((:
auntie renee bought satay for supper.(:
went to sunway lagoon the next day.
It was quite fun.
I walked the suspended bridge, it was kinda scary:/
I missed out alot cause i had my period:(
but still, i enjoyed myself very much(:
then went to the chicken rice shop for dinner.
the chicken rice is damn nice.
I kept eating and eating.
i think i gained weight again.
ROFL.
went shopping again(:
had buffet for breakfast the next morning.
couldn't do much as we got to check out in the afternoon.
so we went shopping again.
LMAFO.
the stuff there are really cheap and nice(:
i felt that singapore's trying to cheat our money.
hahaha.
then checked out of the hotel and took a coach home.
the journey was kinda long and tiring.
Brandon cracked me up with his stupid jokes.
reached home ard 10 plus(:
i wanna go genting again!((:
I enjoyed myself hella lotsa this time.
LALALALA.
i'm crazy.
I MISS HOCKEY LIKE SHAT.
I MISS EVERYTHING HERE(:
anyway, HAPPY BLEATED BIRTHDAY COACH NORDIN!(:
i'm going back for trng next monday(:
andand, i'm gonna get my hockey turfshoes tmr(:
YAY, i'm friggin happy now.
and tired.
BYE.

2005-12-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

I'm sprung;
My sister needs extra training to be spiderman.

hahahhaah. R-E-T-A-R-D-E-D.
I'm going to my grandma's birthday party later(:
And, i'll be off to Genting tmr!(:
OHOH,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAT!(:
PUT THE LIME IN THE COKE YOU NAT X)
LOVE TONS AND TONS.
I'll be missing three trngs :(
and, the carnival is round the corner.
URGH.

she stands in the crowd
and
be herself.
Don't pose,
don't pretend
cause you're invisible this way.

2005-12-03T13:06:00.000-08:00

You make me wanna;
I'm gonna collect pictures and finish up my holiday assignments.
I hate that dumb chinese project :(
Nicole, we'll do it after i come back from genting.
2 more days and i'll be gone.
I don't why i'm feeling randomly weird again.
It makes me sick.
WHERE'S MY SALARY, SHYAN?
hahaha.
Pass to me after i come back from genting(:
I'm gonna save and buy christmas gifts for ppl.
Not everybody, maybe those whom i feel like giving lah.
Not enough money you see.
I must cut down on movies and restraunts :(
CHICKEN LITTLE IS A BORING MOVIE.
except for the fact that it's kind of cute and the song is really funnaye.
rofl.
okay, BYE.

It's only because i fall into your hands.

2005-12-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

I'll take things at slow pace;
had trng today!(:
it was really fun and dizzy.
rofl.
went to meet huiwei at causeway point to get some materials for the card.
then she came to my house.
I saw lufiq on the train.
i wasn't really sure whether it was him so i went like real close to take a look.
lmfao. It was really dumb.
the card huiwei and i made was so beautiful(:
i bet Elise will like it(:
andand,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE ELISE!(:
then sent her back home(:

I cldn't understand why you did that, but you are suffocating me wit your stupid dumb restrictions. But, i don't really care anymore cause' i've learnt to take things easy.

2005-12-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

You're beautiful;
I'm so glad it's all over.
heh.
i felt like a fool, shit.
but, the good thing is that things are going well(:

okay, i went to bugis wit shyan today.
she came to housee before that.
we were blog-hopping and eating the hard boil egg she made for me.
hmmm, not bad.
hahaha.
she ransacked my closet and took three different colours out.
she tried the brown one, but it was kind of tight for her.
rofl. she thinks she got a huge ass which is kind of true.
hahahaha. opps.
then we went to bugis.
the train was moving fuggin slowly, so irritating.
we took neos!hahahah.
it was so funnaye. there's one titanic one and tatu one.
i piggybacked her in one of the shots(:
then, we went ard looking for christmas gifts and eating our peanut pancakes(:
rofl. i felt like a pig. i bet i'm gonna gain at least 2kg.
i dont care x)
we're thinking of buying denise the mickey mouse jigsaw.
i think i'm gonna get shyan either a tee or the mickey jigsaw.
hmmm, and a tank for fy i guess.
i'm going genting next week(:
woohoo.
I think Lord always find a way for us, he never fail to bless us wit happy moments though sometimes life may seem screwed, but i'll fall into His hands and He'll show me the way to break through. Amen(:
trng's tmr!
i hope we wont slack too much.
and jaey, thanks for the encouragement(:
chermaine and nicole too.
i'm okay, don't worry alrights.
and oh, i called yiheng today cause shyan insisted that i should.
he sounded deep on the phone.
ROFL.
i'm feeling randomly weird.
i don't know why.

Everything worked out cause' I believe in You.

2005-12-01T08:42:00.000-08:00

It's not that I don't treat you as my bestie.
You don't really get what i mean, do you?
It's not that i don't listen to you anymore, I'M TIRED.
I've been so screwed up recently that i feels so so exhausted okay.
I can't confide in you cause you didn't give me the chance to.
you kept talking about stuff and i don't have the chance to confide in you.
I'm so tired, do you get it?
Not tired of listening to you, it's just that i have my own problems which made me so bothered.
and, besties doesn't mean that you got to show it.
my kind of bestie is only what i feel in my heart.
NOT THE OUTSIDE.
you don't get it, do you?
Why do i need to explain if you think i'm such a fake.
because i care whether you misunderstand me or not.
you totally hurt me.
and, you.
if you're angry wit me, I'm fine wit it.
I kept asking myself.
IS IT SO HARD JUST TO GO OUT WIT ONLY ONE PERSON?
IS IT WRONG TO DO THAT?
i don't get it.
I given in to you cause i'm scared that i'll hurt you.
but have you ever give me space to breathe?
all of you, have you?
Can you guys even understand how i feel?
I'm tired of explaining okay.
I'm a fake, yeah i am.
isn't that what you think of me?
maybe you don't know me well enough.
urgh. have anybody try to understand me?
i gave in to you guys when you are angry.
now what do expect me to do?
i'm tired, really tired.
I thought i could have take all these, i don't.
there are so many problems which tires me more.
could i have confide in you?
Tell me whether i could.
fine bestfriends are BULLSHIT.
and if you think hanging out and confiding means bestfriend to me, you're wrong.
I don't understand you and maybe you don't understand me too.
If you see your pain and view only, then you're wrong.
how can i confide in someone who thinks i'm so untrue?
OH YEAH RIGHT. you know what, you don't get me.
I don't get you too.
Maybe it's wrong, bestfriends understand each other, not thinking that each other's a fake.
if you understood me, you'll probably know i treated you as a bestfriend.
and, i don't go around telling EVERYONE that they are my bestfriends.
Sometimes what bothers me so much is you never did really understand me.
maybe you think i don't understand you too, but if that's the case, i see no point in proving you wrong.
we can just be friends.
Maybe we don't have to be so tired afterall.

2005-11-30T01:32:00.000-08:00

I WANT YOU TO GO YOUR WAY;
CHANGED BLOG((:
RELINK PEOPLE.
STUPID HAZEL.THE POSTS ARE GONE.
CRIES:(
COOL STICK, YOU MUST BE STRONG OKAY?
REMEMBER? YOU'RE MACHO TOO((:
I LOVE YOU ALRIGHTS:DD

IRUNYOURASSSHOPMISTER.